Married web sex chat
But now my parents were suggesting that something serious was going on. They could say whatever they wanted, but obviously Joe was a committed family man. I had a nice time, but on the drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about what my mother had said after Joe phoned her. "He's lying to you." Turning to my husband, I confessed that I wanted to check out his work computer, so I could reassure my parents they'd made a mistake. I went to his web browser and immediately found a bookmark for a topless site, but he just laughed, saying a colleague had put it there as a joke. With Joe waiting, I scanned the documents he'd saved to his desktop. "I'll stay with you," I finally said, breaking the silence.After a few days of debating whether to bring the issue up, I told Joe what my father had found. I was beginning to wonder what exactly I was looking for when I spied an email from Friend (an early social network and dating site). "But I need to know everything." Joe said there was nothing more to tell. "It's a fantasy — I'm not really cheating on you." After Joe left for the office the next morning, I got up the nerve to log on to his AOL account (I had made him give me his password). When he came back, he was contrite but firm: "There's nothing I can do about the past." Which was true, and I wanted to believe Joe's promise to reform. Something that normally would be no big deal now made me so agitated, I couldn't sleep.In his correspondence with three or four women, Joe described his wife — me — in such hateful terms, it made my skin crawl. I realized that I'd always looked at my marriage and seen what it could be, not what it was.I had joked with my girlfriends that my shy, sweet husband didn't know how to put his feelings into words, but I hadn't realized how tragically true that would turn out to be.During the day, his contracting business kept him operating at a dizzying pace, hopscotching across towns and states to meet with clients. He was right there in our living room, laughing about an email from his brother or looking at a site for new gadgets.After those grueling hours, there was nothing Joe liked more than to come home, wrestle with Jamie, rub my back, and crash in front of his computer. Sometimes, though, I would wake up in the dark and find myself alone in bed. "Well, okay, maybe you could give them a call," I suggested, eager to clear the air with my parents.And, according to her posted itinerary, she would be in our city seeing "clients" the following week. Here I was, digging through my husband's files in an attempt to prove my suspicions wrong, and instead I'd discovered he wasn't just looking at porn, he was actually contacting hookers. "The computer is evil," he said, like a little boy looking to dodge the blame. It was tough to admit they'd been right, but I wanted to see for myself what they had found.
And perhaps the toughest thought that kept coming into my mind: If my parents hadn't discovered his online activities, if I'd never scanned his email, wouldn't our marriage be the same as before, regardless of what Joe was up to? It's not normal, I assured myself, to spend hours on computer-generated porn when your wife is nearby in bed.Four years earlier, when our marriage had hit a rough spot, we'd tried therapy. On Jamie's sixth birthday, after he left for a weekend with Joe, I called AOL to separate my email address from our joint account.Joe had sat silently through the sessions, saying he didn't see a problem. When the customer service rep asked me why, I burst into tears.My life unraveled with an unexpected phone call from my mother: "Do you know what your husband's doing on the computer? "Oh, Mom, Joe just surfs the sites and looks at new gadgets. "While Joe was using the computer, he accidentally deleted the bookmark for Dad's favorite financial site," she said. We'd just come back from visiting my parents with our five-year-old son, Jamie.